Keywords / 1340s
Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Harry
Would you like an atomic pepper, Mr. Mentalino?
Harry
Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
Lloyd
I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Lloyd
Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?
Patrick Bateman
I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly.
Patrick Bateman
Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. Real fucking brat, but I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's fifteen.
The Dude
Your compliment was sufficient, Luis.
Patrick Bateman
You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.
Patrick Bateman
Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
The Dude
Who the fuck are the Knutsens?
The Dude
Hey guys. Woah, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see ya later.
Lloyd
Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Lloyd
Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.
The Dude
Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Dude
Nice set of hooters you got there!
Harry
You've got a dirty whorish mouth.
Ron Burgundy
I! The Royal "we"! You know, the editorial...
The Dude
That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Lloyd
Gas man. How the hell did they know that I got gas?
Mental
The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Lloyd
Kick his ass, Sea Bass!
Sea Bass Friend
She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!
The Dude
That's right, Dude, they peed on your fucking rug.
Walter Sobchak
Ow! Fucking fascist!
The Dude
It's ok, I'm a limo driver!
Lloyd
Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
The Dude
I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION
Ron Burgundy
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Walter Sobchak
Where's the fucking money Lebowski?
The Dude
Saw it in a movie once.
Lloyd
Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.
Harry
I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.
Lloyd
Thanks. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me!
Lloyd
No, in the movie, they catch up to him half mile down the road and slit his throat! Hahaha! It was a good one.
Lloyd
Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.
Lloyd
I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
Ron Burgundy
WE'VE LANDED ON THE MOON!
Lloyd
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Walter Sobchak
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...
Ron Burgundy
It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.
Ron Burgundy
Donny you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!
Walter Sobchak
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
Walter Sobchak
We got no food, no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
Lloyd
Flush you bastard.
Harry
I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry
There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.
Patrick Bateman
You'll have to excuse my friend. He's a little slow. The town is back *that* way.
Lloyd
H-hey, this is a private residence, man!
The Dude
You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?
Harry
You know I don't speak Spanish.
Ron Burgundy
Sweet Lincoln's mullet.
Ron Burgundy
I hate the fuckin' Eagles man.
The Dude
I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.
Lloyd
How now brown cow.
Ron Burgundy
A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Harry
I got worms!
Lloyd
Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Lloyd
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
The Dude
Phone's ringing, Dude.
Donny
Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!
Harry
Cannonball!
Ron Burgundy
I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker
Ron Burgundy
Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
The Dude
The arsonist has oddly shaped feet.
Ron Burgundy
Oh, uh, it's the pleats... the pleats in the pants. It's an optical illusion. I was just about to take them back... to the pants store. Oh this is embarrassing.
Ron Burgundy
You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.
Ron Burgundy
TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!
Patrick Bateman
Extra gloves? You've had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?
Harry
I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos!
Walter Sobchak
Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
Walter Sobchak
I said, "Do you love me?" and she said, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."
Lloyd
I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman.
Ron Burgundy
Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
Patrick Bateman
I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady.
Ron Burgundy
I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
Patrick Bateman
Look at our current situation with that camel fucker over in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.
Walter Sobchak
Son of a bee-sting.
Ron Burgundy
Obviously you're not a golfer.
The Dude
That rug really tied the room together.
The Dude
You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.
Walter Sobchak
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once. Not in 'Nam of course.
Walter Sobchak
OVER THE LINE!
Walter Sobchak
Oh well here, take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty.
Lloyd
Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!
Ron Burgundy
You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.
Walter Sobchak
I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.
Ron Burgundy
We don't usually pick up hitchhikers... but I'm-a gonna go with my instincts on this one. Saddle up partner!
Lloyd
Donny, shut the f- when do we play?
Walter Sobchak
God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?
The Dude
I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs... some Chinaman took them from me in Korea... but I went out and achieved anyway!
The Big Lebowski
They're gonna kill that poor woman.
The Dude
My need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale cannot be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Patrick Bateman
Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
Walter Sobchak
What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Lloyd
According to the map we've only gone about 4 inches.
Harry
Great Odin's raven.
Ron Burgundy
Tic-Tac, sir?
Lloyd
No Luis. It's not me. You're mistaken.
Patrick Bateman
Am I wrong?
Walter Sobchak
Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...
Walter Sobchak
Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.
Walter Sobchak
Harry, you're alive... and a horrible shot!
Lloyd
Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.
Walter Sobchak
I have to return some videotapes.
Patrick Bateman
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
Walter Sobchak
And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.
Ron Burgundy
Harry... your hands are freezing!
Lloyd
Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lloyd
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
Harry
If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you.
Patrick Bateman